Red & Gold

Living in limbo does have its advantages. All the serious things are on hold for the moment, while I concentrate on settling in. Yes, still in that phase. It’s autumn here, the limbo season, my birthday season, half cool, half freezing. Nothing seems permanent.

Every morning I walk 5 kms around my neighbourhood - the neighbourhood I grew up in – and get my head ready for the day. I see the eye-popping red and gold trees, and think again, nothing is permanent.

Because it isn’t. This feeling of displacement won’t last, and I’ve decided to cancel out regrets for good.

I took these photos a couple of weeks ago in the stage right before the leaves started turning crispy and falling onto patchy lawns. Autumn in Canberra is pretty spectacular – it’s a shame it will be over by the time the Island arrives. The air is crisp and clear, and there are hot air balloons sailing over the city almost every morning. Can you imagine?

As you probably can imagine, moments of happiness in Canberra are quite different to those in Vientiane. I realised this the other day when driving to work in the car I bought recently off my friend’s girlfriend for $1500. The heater was starting to warm my freezing toes and I switched over to Triple J to see whether those breakfast idiots had shut up for long enough to actually play a song. The new Death Cab For Cutie single was playing, the day was new and I had no idea what was coming up. Happiness.

Despite my nightly calls and relatively frequent updates, Vientiane and the newspaper and Ban Saphanthong and Judy and the V Shop and Sunset Bar and ping pha could not be further away- they could’ve happened last century. There’s just nothing around here that triggers any spontaneous memories, and as I said last time, I’ve been carefully avoiding photos and music. I did stop for a surreal moment to marvel last week at the fact that a year ago I was walking around Luang Prabang soaked to the skin, and this year I was sitting in court with a notebook and it's chilly outside.

To counteract this apparently deliberate forgetfulness a bit, I wrote a feature last week for tomorrow’s paper about what it was like in the Vientiane newsroom – something that’s been kicking around in my head for ages, and I finally managed to get it all on the page. Much harder than I thought it would be, writing a personal account, rather than something sourced from what's happening right in front of me.

I’ve been at The Canberra Times for a month now, and most of the day is spent covering the courts’ daily menu of assault, theft, drink-driving, rape, incest, murder and negligence. It’s endlessly interesting and a bit depressing – many Canberrans would have no idea what really goes on in this town unless they spent a day in the Magistrates Court.

But I’ve also written on such varied subjects as Gallipoli, ACT club policies, the rights of security workers, pre-nuptial agreements, patent law, the need for a female governor-general (someone obviously listened), a fistula hospital in Ethiopia, petrol prices, airport security and the competitiveness of Australian grocers, among other things.

The best thing about it is that you get the work finished, and it’s over. By definition, a newspaper story can’t be left for the next day – you just have to do it, and when you go home, it’s done. Worries rarely carry over to the next day, and you can see the results of your work on the page the next morning. I’ve made mistakes, some of then bad, but they’re mostly forgotten after a day or two. Gosh how this job suits me…

My 29th birthday came and went without much comment. I got a dress, a rice cooker, flowers, a necklace, an American Apparel sweater. Posh dinner with the three of my friends who were in town at Chairman & Yip, one of the Canberra institutions that was absolutely cutting edge in, like, 1995, and hadn’t changed its menu since. It has stood the test of time, though. Pretty different from my last birthday in Vientiane, although it too involved dinner.

I’m sorry to say I haven’t been going out much at all, and not necessarily by choice. Just not that many people are around, and I’m trying so hard to save some cash. But I’m really willing to put my social life on hold for the moment if it means, like, developing my inner life and stuff. New restaurants and bars open in Canberra on an almost weekly basis, and I have friends here who define their whole existence by which ones they’ve been to. I mean really.

But staying in has meant renewing my relationship with ABC, which is great- so educational. And The Bill’s on tonight- orright sarge?

I also came across a couple of very heavy boxes under the house recently, containing about 500 CDs- my beloved music collection, begun when I was 15. The joy!

So, picture me walking along to old tunes, working late, cursing modern life and watching Australian Story on Monday nights. All is right with the world...